Do kids come with Lo-Jack?

I lost a sheet of paper my doctor gave me. I spent hours looking for it. All the while, I was thinking, "I can't call her office and ask for another one. If she knows I lost an important piece of paper, she'll never give me a kid!" If I can't keep track of my medical information, what am I going to do with a child?!!!!

Then I found the paper in my chair cushion. So now I figure that if it had been a kid, I've got a few things in my favor. First, the kid would be lost in my house - so that doesn't really count as lost at all. Second, the kid wouldn't fit in between my chair cushions. Third, even if the kid managed to get lost in my chair cushions, he'd eventually cry and then I'd be able to follow the sound. That's what I do with my cell phone when I can't find it. I call it and then follow the sound of the ringer. Just to be safe, I'm going to have a Lo-Jack system installed on my kid before we even leave the hospital.

So, crisis averted. I must remember this over the next year when I panic and doubt my abilities to be a decent mom. In the meantime, I'm going to designate a specific folder to store all of my medical information. It's probably not a bad idea to hone my organizational skills now.