Don't you wish you had a Reproductive Endocronologist?

It's all the rage now. Everyone will be rushing out to get one. I like to think I'm out there ahead of the crowd. I have my very own Reproductive Endocrinologist. Fancy, huh?

What? That just means a fertility doctor? You mean it's not going to be the next Hollywood craze? Maybe for the older Hollywood crowd. You know, the ones that forgot to have a baby when they didn't need to know terms like hysterosalpingogram and follicle stimulating hormone or thyroid stimulating hormone.

So my non-fancy Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE or "the woman who's going to knock me up") has told me that I should have those hormone levels checked (which I expected) and that hysterosalping-o-thing (not expected). The hormone levels shouldn't be a big deal. They can check that with a simple blood test - or maybe I have to pee in a cup. Easy-peasy.

But the hysterosalping-o-thing? Yeah - that doesn't sound too pleasant. Apparently, they squirt some radio-active waste (or maybe they called it "dye") up my va-jay-jay and see if I light up like a Christmas tree. Actually, they take an x-ray and check to see if I have tube blockages. The info sheet they gave me on the procedure used terms like 'speculum' and 'instruments are inserted' and 'uterine cavity'. Uh-huh. Apparently there is "some cramping" involved and they recommend ibuprofen (taken an hour before the procedure). These are my favorite sentences: "Cramping occurs when the uterus is filled with fluid and for about 15 minutes after the procedure. The entire procedure takes approximately 45 minutes." Fun, huh?

The big question I have is - Where does all that glow-in-the-dark-dye go when their all done looking at my girlie parts? As if that wasn't enough, the x-ray costs about $3K. The insurance should pick up some of that. But I don't know what "some" means yet. I've decided to start keeping tabs on all of the costs involved in this process.

Now, I recognize that it seems like I'm complaining a lot here. Maybe I am. But it's my blog so I get to complain a little bit, don't I? I never claimed to be Mother Teresa (and wouldn't this be even more interesting if I was?)