I'm not a light-bulb joke.

I subscribe to a chat room of single women trying to get pregnant. We all belong to a group called Single Mothers By Choice. Someone in that group was asking how everyone else chose their RE (the woman who's going to knock me up). I didn't post my reasons for choosing mine because in the grand scheme of things, its probably a stupid reason. But since most of you know how nuts I can be, I thought I'd share my thoughts with you.

So, my Gyno (whom I love) gave me the names of a couple of REs. One was a man approximately 35 minutes away from me. He had his own little practice and used a PA sperm bank. Another was a woman about 1 hour away (maybe a little more). She has a practice with the Geisinger medical group. The third option was highly recommended but she was a couple of hours away - too far.

Now, a normal person might decide to go with the closest one. After all, I may have to go several times during certain weeks of the month. It would make sense. But here's all I could think about: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two Men?! I've already got one man I don't know from Adam (or at least his swimmers) trying to get me pregnant. I don't need another. I can just hear myself, "Well, I really have two men to thank for giving me my child." I mean, there is just something weird to me about one man injecting another man's swimmers up me to get me pregnant. Gross, right? Excuse me while I have a case of the heebie-jeebies.

I'm sure he's completely professional but my ability to approach this in a totally clinical way only goes so far. I'd rather drive a little further to a nice woman who actually knows what it's like to have people poking around. And there is absolutely no chance that my kid will bear and eerie resemblance to her. You've heard the horror stories from the early days of sperm banks, right? Now, I will pause to give you time for a case of the heebie-jeebies. Just shake 'em off. Better?