First Trimester Survival for the Single Mom

As promised, here is my advice on surviving the first trimester solo. Keep in mind that, as a single mom, I am very conscious of costs (since it cost some serious money just to get knocked up). This advice does not include hiring any help - but if you can afford it, go for it. For the majority of us that can't afford a chef and cleaning service, this stuff could be invaluable. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to add them. I'm sure there are other single moms (or even married moms) who would benefit from your wisdom!

As soon as you find out you are pregnant:
1. Buy a year's supply of paper plates and plastic silverware. I know it is not very environmentally friendly but you aren't going to have the energy to do dishes - even with a dishwasher.
2. Collect menus from every restaurant that will deliver to you. When you call them, ask them to put in some plates and silverware.
3. Vacuum your house NOW - because you won't do it again for a couple of months. Or, if you have the money and you're a clean freak, consider buying one of those robotic vacuum cleaners.
4. Shave every furry living creature you have in your house. Seriously, they shed even more when they know you're too tired to vacuum.
5. Buy a case of crackers - saltines if you can eat them. If you have gluten issues like I do, just get the closest thing you can find. Stay away from the crunchy rice ones - they take too much energy to chew.
6. Buy a case of Gatorade or some other electrolyte beverage. I don't know why - but orange Gatorade has been my salvation. I'll probably never be able to drink it after this kid is born - but for now? - SALVATION.
7. Put a bleach tablet in your toilet tank now. Again - not very environmentally friendly, but you'll want a clean bowl to throw-up in without having to clean it every other day.
8. You can try to fill your freezer with frozen microwave meals but I found that my cravings and aversions changed between the grocery store and my home - so what's the point?
9. If you have cats, like I do, get a mask and a box of rubber gloves. Wear them while cleaning the litter box. You'll look like an idiot but the gloves reduce the risk of toxoplasmosis and the mask will filter out the smell so you don't throw-up (thus creating more mess to clean up).
10. If you have a dog that requires long walks, set up "play dates" for every day, as many times a day as possible. Have the other dog's mom or dad come get your dog. Or better yet, just give your dog to them for the next 2 months. (You can tell I'm not as much a dog person.)
11. If you love your TV shows but you don't have Tivo or a DVR, get one. You'll be going to bed by 9 pm no matter what kind of night owl you are.
12 Take your pregnancy books and rip out and burn the sections on What Daddy can expect while you're expecting. It's just going to piss you off when you're flipping through the book while lying on the bathroom floor.


DO NOT:
1. Plan any big trips or adventures.
2. Expect to be able to eat out with friends. Someone is bound to order something that will send you running to the bathroom.
3. Leave the house without a bottle of water, a pack of crackers, mouth wash or breath mints.


Throughout the first trimester:
1. Take a thermal mug with your cold drink of choice to bed with you. Use a straw. It's easier to drink while lying flat.
2. Take crackers to bed as well. Eat a couple before you even get out of bed in the morning.
3. Ask all visitors to take their shoes off and just walk around in their socks. They won't track stuff in and they will actually pick up some animal fur and take it with them.

The first trimester - in retrospect.....

As you could probably tell from the absence of posts on my blog for a while there, the first trimester was challenging. All of you who have experienced that can attest to the truth of my statement since it seems to be the same for everyone. Morning sickness? Maybe - maybe not. Exhaustion? Absolutely!

So, in retrospect, I have some thoughts on the experience as a single person and also some suggestions for other single women tackling this process. First, I'd like to say that having a man (or another woman - if you prefer) around during this time would have had its advantages and disadvantages. I don't mean to suggest that I had it any worse or that I'm complaining. Well, I'm complaining a little bit - but every pregnant woman should be allowed to complain a little - partner or no.

The advantages of doing this on my own:
1. I don't have to give a rat's butt about how my "situation" is affecting my partner. I'd have very little sympathy anyway - so it would probably only have resulted in some fights.
2. Actually, I can't think of any other advantages - but I'm sure those of you with partners could fill in the blank. Besides - the first advantage cannot be overstated.

The disadvantages of doing this on my own:
1. I never did figure out how to teach my cats to go get me crackers or water while I lay flat, trying not to move. A partner with apposable thumbs would have been handy.
2. My cats don't know how to run a vacuum cleaner either. In fact, they can't even clean up after themselves and yet still believe that I should feed them without complaint. Besides, there's nothing sexier than a man running a vacuum cleaner.
3. What looked good to me (food-wise) five minutes ago, now makes me want to throw-up but I spent what little energy I had getting the original food. There's nothing sexier than a man who can cook - oh, wait - I just said that about the vacuum.
4. I think you get the idea. Between wanting to throw up for no external reasons and being too exhausted to do anything more than necessary, a man or partner could have come in handy. But if I'm being honest, even if he was vacuuming while cooking me dinner, I still don't think I would have found him sexy - not during the first trimester.

In my next post, I'll offer my suggestions for other women doing pregnancy solo. I'll bet those of you with partners will find some of them useful as well.